I didn't start questioning until I started thinking about the differences between reaction and attraction.
Well, I do believe I have some form of attraction for others, I am interested in them, and being around them does make me better.
However, do I desire to do anything physically intimate (romantic) or sexual with them? Thinking about it;
No, from my experiences, I have never subconsciously thought about doing much of anything with them. (except for hugs, that I still desire) That crosses out much of the list of attractions.
However, that wasn't the question I was asking in this post; the main problem is:
How do I still feel like I am attracted to them?
Why does my heart rate speed up, face turn a million degrees hot when I greet them. How does every single touch feel doused in liquid fire, and words cease to exist when I speak?
It's such an overwhelming feeling that I can't quite describe how it works, and neither do I know how to stop it. It feels like I am in love...somehow, without the desire "for them" attached.
The brain does indeed release a complex combination of neurochemicals that do replicate this intoxicating feeling, such as norepinephrine and adrenaline.
It is the reason why I read romance even though I don't have an interest in the subject; the tension, the heady thrill I get in the moment of the lovers' final kiss is quite addicting.
I believe I have a desire to get more of this intangible feeling, but no desire for them, explicitly.
I don't desire to be sit next to them or hold hands.
While I may want to be friends with them, know them better, I find the idea of forever closeness to be confusing.
That aside, the same could be said for the sexual.
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